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the unbearable tragedy of the umbrella academy

or, a scathing review about a show i like

[9/?/24]

i think we're alone now
there doesn't seem to be anyone around
i think we're alone now
the beating of our hearts is the only sound
- I Think We're Alone Now, Tiffany

hey there, blog! long time no see!aside from "celebrating" my birthday (i'm 28 now, by the way), i spent the better part of August rewatching the first three seasons of The Umbrella Academy to refresh my memory before the fourth and final season of the show. i've literally just closed the Netflix tab after finally watching the last episode and came straight here, because good lord do i have some thoughts.

unfortunately, i don't have the time, patience, or talent to make something as coherent or entertaining as a video essay about the show, despite how much i'd love to. instead, i'm going to attempt to formulate my ranting into a somewhat organized "review" of the show, including it's pros (of which there are some), and it's cons (of which there are many).obviously, broad SPOILER WARNING for the show as a whole. i may use this site's spoiler feature here and there, but i don't want this entry to look like a redacted SCP article. moreover, i'm fairly certain anyone reading has either seen the show in its entirety, or won't watch a single episode, so spoilers be damned.

what is the umbrella academy?

where do i even start? okay.The Umbrella Academy is a Netflix original series based on a comic of the same name by Gerard Way. Yes, that Gerard Way. I've never read the comics, so I'm unsure how much of the show is a faithful adaptation versus live action alterations, but the crux of the story is the same. of course, i'm only going to be talking about the show, since that's what i watched.TL;DR: the show opens with 43 women around the world giving birth on October 1st, 1989, despite not being pregnant the day before. eccentric billionaire Reginald Hargreeves adopts seven of the resulting children, training them to use their superpowers to "save the world" under the name "The Umbrella Academy."fast forward to 2019, where The Umbrella Academy is splintered. the estranged siblings are brought back together after the mysterious and sudden death of their father, and must reunite to save the world from an incoming apocalypse.okay, i know that's a lot, and there's a ton i left out, but just stick with me. just smile and nod, pretend you understand.

the characters

i'm having a hard time deciding where to talk about the characters, because they do change (somewhat) over the course of the show. regardless, i think it's important to at least introduce them before i start getting into the meat and potatoes, though i may revisit this section later. we'll see.The main cast, the titualur Umbrellas, originally has seven members (technically six, or even five), so we'll start with them.

things to hit on

reginald hargreeves is an alien (only goal to revive abigail? to what end?)s4 new powersviktor's character arcallison's character arc (s3 ruining it, s4 ending she barely puts up a fight)fatphobia (diego, shirtless scene)jean and gene (the keepers)apocalypses (blowing up the moon, nuclear war, kugelblitz, the cleanse)s3 ending (hotel oblivion, resetting the universe, hargreeves "in charge" in s4)jennifer feels like a massive plothole (who is she, why was she in a squid, why does she say "the cleanse", why does she have durango?)other marigold childrenmisplaced humor (baby shark)unnecessary romance (luther/allison, ben/jennifer - stupid romeo/juliet, five/lila) (luther/sloane, diego/lila, viktor/sissy, ray/allison ok)ending (sacrifice selves, timeline shattered, original timeline, lila's family continuing to exist?)

new things to do

New Horizons is not a boring game. there's just so much to do. that said, Animal Crossing games are infamously known as games about "tomorrow". inevitably, you run out of things to do today and you have to wait until tomorrow. sure, you could keep earning Bells or Nook Miles, but that can quickly become tedious and repetitive. i don't see any reason why the next Animal Crossing game wouldn't have more things to do.this ties in nicely with my previous point: if there are more places to go, there are more things to do, more things to buy and collect, and more places to explore every day.but i don't just want more things to do, i want new things to do. there's a few big categories i feel are worth mentioning: jobs, minigames, and villagers.

/ jobs

in Happy Home Paradise, players can work a job decorating vacation homes for villagers and are paid for their efforts. i hate that this feature is locked behind a DLC, because i think the ability for players to work is a brilliant inclusion, and should absolutely be expanded upon in a future game.previously, in New Leaf, players could work part-time at The Roost serving customers, and would be awarded special items for doing a good job. every villager had a unique coffee order that players had to learn over time. i can't believe this feature isn't present in New Horizons-- it's such a great addition that i'd love to see brought back and explored more.a busy city lends itself well to this mechanic, giving players the option to work part-time jobs across various locations, each with their own unique themes, functionality, and rewards.players should once again be able to work daily shifts at The Roost, serving villagers and special characters that each have their own unique orders. however, i imagine lots of other job opportunities for the player as well.for example, players could work for a detective agency, where clients come in with problems to solve. these would likely be misplaced item cases or something similar. the player could then engage in a sort of scavenger hunt, following clues around the city to find the item and return it to the client.some jobs could potentially give the player opportunities to customize villager appearances, like creating outfits at the Able Sisters as a tailor or cutting hair (or fur!) at the Shampoodle as a stylist. other potential jobs could include serving food at a restaurant, acting at a theater using Reactions, or restoring fossils at the Museum.each job could have its own uniform, giving players more opportunities to dress up and wear different outfits. as thanks for their hard work, players may earn Bells or special items. maybe players earn promotions for each job, increasing their pay or unlocking other items. promotions could even be tied to milestones or store upgrades.and players wouldn't be the only ones working! some locations in Happy Home Paradise feature animal villagers working jobs at restaurants or hospitals. it would fit seamlessly into a bustling city and give villagers something to do from day-to-day other than standing around.

/ minigames

strangely, Animal Crossing titles don't have much in the way of "minigames". i wouldn't really consider fishing, catching bugs, or diving to be minigames-- those are just the game. the closest thing present in New Horizons is the occasional game of High Card Low Card, which isn't exactly fun. i think Animal Crossing could benefit from smaller games within the game, particularly if they can be played with friends.for starters, the inclusion of part-time jobs could also create a handful of minigames. working at The Museum may feature a minigame in which the player frees a fossil from a chunk of dirt, or brushes it off, or combines fossil pieces to correctly restore a dinosaur. other jobs could feature similar, albeit unique games.there are, of course, other opportunities for minigames. for example, i think the inclusion of an arcade and a games app for the NookPhone could introduce a lot of fun, simple activities. these could give players access to mobile phone games in addition to arcade games like Whack-A-Resetti. these might be played cooperatively or competitively, and every game could keep track of a player's high score, as well as their friends' scores. i developed a concept for these mechanics back in 2020 for New Horizons, and while it's a bit outdated, i think it still illustrates the potential in adding minigames.

/ villagers

although they're a huge part of the game, it feels like there's not much you can actually do with villagers. in New Horizons, they mostly take up space and sometimes run up to the player with tasks or gifts. this is all fine, but doesn't it feel like they should have a little more interactivity?for one thing, i'd really like to see a hangout mechanic in a future game, wherein players could invite a villager to walk around with them. granted, aside from being cute and fun, i'm not entirely sure what benefit this would have. it could function similarly to how it does in Disney Dreamlight Valley, wherein villagers gain friendship while hanging out, and help the player with tasks-- in this case, catching fish/bugs/sea creatures, obtaining extra crafting materials, etc.as mentioned earlier, villagers should also be able to work and wander the city. villagers might gravitate to certain jobs or locations based on their personalities, make purchases based on their likes/dislikes, and overall just be more interesting as characters.tangentially, villagers should be more interesting in general. currently, villagers aren't all that unique: they may have different appearances or personalities, but they all say/do the same things. if i have to hear another villager talk about Maglevs in Love i'm going to set myself on fire.i don't think every villager needs their own unique lines of dialogue, but it would be cool if they had more depth. they should have likes and dislikes when it comes to gift-giving, favorite meals, and other small details that make each villager stand out just a little more.

/ other things to do

there are a few other things i think would be fun to do, including various possible game mechanics.for instance, i think it'd be cool to introduce some new gameplay mechanics, such as mining and treasure hunting.mining seems fairly easy to envision: rather than hitting rocks with a shovel or axe, players could instead use a pickaxe, dropping ores like those found in New Leaf, geodes, or unique rock variants, all of which might be used for DIY crafting or for the customization of items.i imagine treasure hunting would be similar to exploring Ancient Pig Ruins in Don't Starve: Hamlet, wherein the player explores caves or ruins to uncover treasures. these locations would allow players to uncover ancient artifacts and treasures. for what purpose? who knows! maybe these objects can be donated to the museum? maybe this is another job that the player can work instead of its own thing. perhaps this activity is featured elsewhere, acting like a Mystery Island with uniquely generated ruins.i just feel like there's so much potential for more stuff in Animal Crossing. there can be way more game inside the game!

utilize more special characters

with so many entries in the series, Animal Crossing has developed quite the cast of important characters. unfortunately, some of these characters have been underutilized or outright replaced in later titles. in the "ultimate" Animal Crossing game, in addition to new characters, it'd be awesome to feature everyone outside of lazy cameos, whether they're hosting events, running shops, or some other third thing.this is a pretty straightforward point, but i thought it would be fun to conceptualize what some of these characters might be up to in such a game:

of course, these are just basic ideas, and don't include characters with more obvious roles, like Timmy & Tommy running Nook's Cranny, Mabel & Sable running the Able Sisters, etc.while their purpose is less immediately obvious, i imagine other characters such as Blanca, Gracie, Phineas, and Tortimer would reappear in some form to host events or work at specialized stores.

better NookPhone

the NookPhone was such a great addition to New Horizons, and i feel like it could be improved for a new game through the addition of new apps.i've already proposed a mobile games app, allowing players to launch minigames from their phone to kill time, beat their friends' high scores, and potentially earn rewards.another app i'd like to see is some form of music app. this would function as a music player does in real life, allowing players to select and change what song they listen to while playing. this might include normal hourly tracks (bonus points if tracks from past games are included), K.K. Slider songs, or maybe even player-created songs, perhaps through expanded Town Tune functionality. maybe there's a music store somewhere in the city, where players can purchase said tracks.i'd also like to see better social apps. i think an in-game social media site (NookBook?) would be really interesting. i sort of envision something like Miitomo, allowing players to make posts that their friends can react to and comment on. players could share photos they take, island updates, request items, and answers fun questions. NPC villagers could also post on the site, making it feel more realistic.a better messaging app would be great, too. this could be standalone or part of the social media app, but talking to friends in Animal Crossing games is so clunky. i realize this is mostly a limitation of the system (it's hard to type fast on a controller), but i still feel improvements could be made to make talking to friends more fun and accessible.the possibilities are truly endless, but i think these examples demonstrate how much more handy and fun the NookPhone could be.

miscellaneous additions

there's a few other things i'd like to discuss, but they're smaller in scale and don't necessitate their own sections. some of these arefirstly, a future animal crossing game needs way more things to unlock and work towards. i'm specifically referring to upgrades and milestones, which i feel New Horizons somewhat lacks: Nook's Cranny literally has one upgrade. i would love to see more opportunities for the player's city to grow, and more reasons for the player to engage in various elements of the game to unlock new items and parts of the game.next, cooking needs a massive overhaul. the addition to cooking in New Horizons is fantastic in theory, but in practice it's virtually pointless. ideally, different recipes should give the player small buffs: increased movement speed for x amount of time, chance to catch double fish, etc. etc. these don't have to be game-changing effects, but they would give the player a reason to make them outside of filling their energy points (which should also be more useful!). some of my other ideas lend themselves to a cooking refresh, too, such as a city having restaurants and villagers having favorite meals.while it makes slightly less sense in a city setting, i want to see slightly more magical/cartoony elements. minus the talking animals, Animal Crossing is a series based mostly in realism, but there are fun additions that are more magical: money trees, the existence of Wisp, and changing clothes with a magic wand to name a few. despite being unrealistic, these are things that fit fantastically into the game, so i'd really love to see more stuff like that!obviously, i'd like to see better, smoother online play. this is an impossible ask because Nintendo is known to fumble the bag when it comes to online functionality, but ideally it shouldn't take 5 minutes to connect to another player's island. it's 2024, we deserve less obtrusive online play.lastly, way more items in general. this includes simple things like furniture (especially tables, New Horizons hates tables for some reason), but also things like seasonal or unique items. in addition to providing more options and variety, seasonal items could keep players returning frequently to collect everything. i think it would be interesting if each player had access to a series of items unique to their city. idk, just more stuff to earn and decorate with would be nice!

the end.

wow, this took a while! i've been writing this on and off for the last few weeks in-between sessions of actually playing New Horizons. since then, my island has hit 3 stars and i've unlocked the terraforming tools, so i've been hard at work making my island look all fancy. i also got some of those NFC coins, so i'll be able to populate my island with my favorite villagers! this game actually rules when you have stuff to do!in addition, i finally got my computer back! this is both awesome and kind of sucks, because now i don't want to play New Horizons as much. i've got Dead by Daylight to grind, and the new Stardew Valley update is out!i'll actually be publishing this post on the 4th anniversary of New Horizons, which is wild to think about. 4 YEARS? time sucks. but holy shit, this game kept me sane during the pandemic, as i'm sure it did for lots of people. i think it'll always have a special place in my heart for that.i remember playing Animal Crossing for Gamecube with my siblings so much as a kid, and then later all of us playing City Folk on the Wii. one of my sisters visited my New Horizons island once, though we haven't played together since. i really miss playing with them, but it helps that i have a bunch of friends i can play with instead. :)i hope its evident that i care a lot about this series, which is why i'm so passionate about making it the best it can be. i hope you enjoyed my rambling, even if you don't agree with all my ideas. in the end, i'd be happy to see any new Animal Crossing game, but until then, I've got Miles to earn and turnips to sell!

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old horizons, made new

or, creating the perfect animal crossing game

[3/20/24]

i just wanna mingle with some people
who are just as weird as me
i'm in the mood for group therapy
- Group Therapy, Elohim

oh wow it's been 3 months since my last blog post, huh? i was really hoping to write more of these more frequently, but i apparently haven't thought of anything interesting to write about until now. whoops!recently, my computer has been having some moderate to severe performance issues, so i sent it in to get repaired before it explodes. just one of the many benefits to using a gaming laptop! in the meantime, i've been operating on a 9-year-old laptop i affectionately refer to as "the craptop". as you might've gathered from the name, it's not exactly the most... functional piece of equipment. it works well enough that i can write this blog post and talk to friends on discord, but anything else is iffy, especially when it comes to playing games.given the craptop's limitations, i figured i might need another way to keep myself entertained while waiting for my computer to be fixed. following in the footsteps of my friend Kiro, i decided to revisit Animal Crossing: New Horizons, almost 4 years since its release.despite being mostly satisfied with my island, home, and set of villagers, there wasn't really anything left for me to do in the game. i'd nearly completed the Critterpedia, having caught every fish and bug, fully upgraded and decorated my house, and more or less "completed" the game. sure, i could've tried to catch the last few sea creatures i required, donated every painting, completed every milestone, and finally try out the Happy Home Paradise DLC... but none of that sounded as appealing as starting from scratch.i'd been contemplating restarting the game for a while, but it's a very final thing: it's the literal erasure of hundreds of hours of work and play. with the hope that it would keep me sufficiently occupied while waiting on my computer, i finally reset my island (after storing a few items and a million or so Bells on a friend's island for safekeeping, of course).so far, i'm happy with my decision to restart. waiting for the island to develop is admittedly pretty obnoxious the second time around, but it at least gives me something to look forward to every day. i do miss some of my villagers that i'm unlikely to see again (though i'll probably mess around with fabricating Amiibos via NFC tags), and i dread having to catch 100 fish without missing all over again, but it's been very enjoyable otherwise.as a bonus, a lot of my friends have gotten back into the game as well, whether they themselves have restarted, continued old saves, or emulated a cursed island outside of space and time. naturally, as we've all been playing, we've been discussing the game quite a bit.my opinion of New Horizons has pretty much stayed the same: i wish it were just a little better. the fact that Nintendo dropped it so soon is incredibly disappointing. while the concept of "games as a service" is controversial, i really believe the game would've benefited from more support and more content over a longer timeline. i wouldn't even be opposed to more DLCs: i just want more Animal Crossing.all this got me thinking about the next hypothetical Animal Crossing game. where could they go from here? what improvements could be made? what follows is a long, somewhat unorganized laundry list of concepts that i feel may be included in the perfect Animal Crossing game.

a few preliminary notes

there's obviously no such thing as a perfect game: these are simply some ideas i think would be cool to see in a new Animal Crossing game. of course, people may want different things from a game, so these ideas might sound terrible to you, and that's okay!some of these ideas are more thought out than others: i'm not a game designer-- i don't know how all these things could/would work, but it's fun to imagine. additionally, some of these ideas were suggested by or adapted from my friend's ideas of what they might like to see in a new game-- you know who you are.unless otherwise specified, this hypothetical game would include most of the features present in New Horizons, including things like crafting, customization, and world design. these features may or may not be improved upon, but i don't see any reason for a "perfect" game to ignore or outright remove this stuff.

so... where to?

it's difficult to say exactly where a New Animal Crossing might take place: a literal deserted island that the player can fully redesign and restructure seems hard to beat.that said, i can easily imagine an Animal Crossing game taking place in a large city. i like to think of this as an extension of the titular location from City Folk, featuring various shops, hangout spots, and lots of walkable areas.i like to imagine the game opens with the player arriving in the city, which is maybe small or run-down initially. rather than a house, the player starts with a small apartment (maybe they have an animal roommate!), and can eventually choose to have a house built anywhere they'd like. payments and customization would then follow like other titles.villagers could move into the city like normal, but other non-residential villagers could tour the city and its locales. maybe if a player sees one they like, they could ask them to move in. special characters could set up shop in the city, hold special events, or even occasionally walk around the city like regular villagers.i can visualize players hailing cabs to instantly move across the city for a fee. Dodo Airlines could still be a thing as well, transporting players elsewhere, like to Mystery Islands or to other player cities.now, is a city better than an island? maybe not. it seems unlikely that a city could be nearly as customizable as an entire island. in fact, i wouldn't even be surprised nor upset if this game took place on another island. that said, i think a lively city works as a setting for a modern Animal Crossing game-- even as a secondary location-- and offers a lot of potential, which should be apparent in some of the following ideas.

more places to go

i've always felt that fully developed islands in New Horizons are weirdly empty. aside from villager houses (which don't really offer anything for the player to do), there's only a handful of structures on the island, including Resident Services, The Airport, The Museum, Nook's Cranny, Able Sisters, and The Campsite (which is essentially just another villager house). there are, of course, Mystery Islands and some vendors on Harv's Island, but these are secondary locations and not part of the player's island.when Brewster and The Roost were finally added to the game, i was anticipating finding a spot for the coffee shop somewhere on my island: maybe it would overlook the beach, or sit next to Nook's Cranny. it was instead added to The Museum, and my island remained unchanged. moreover, i would have loved to create a little shopping district on my island for all the vendors that show up on Harv's Island. while these are still welcome additions, i feel like they could've been incorporated better.i want more physical places to visit every day. realistically, many of these would probably be regular shops, but i'd love to be able to visit other faciliies, similar to those introduced in the Happy Home Paradise DLC. it would be so cool to play online with friends and hang out at an in-game restaurant or club.additionally, Happy Home Paradise introduces various biomes, such as the desert and the arctic, but doesn't really do anything with them aside from set dressing. i would love to be able to visit these locations in a new Animal Crossing game. maybe these biomes could appear as new Mystery Islands with unique materials. maybe they're fully-explorable areas on the outskirts of the city. regardless of how they're incorporated, i think it'd be really cool to explore or decorate within different biomes.whether these additions are sprinkled across an island or line the streets of a city, it would create a much larger, more interactive world to explore every day.

new things to do

New Horizons is not a boring game. there's just so much to do. that said, Animal Crossing games are infamously known as games about "tomorrow". inevitably, you run out of things to do today and you have to wait until tomorrow. sure, you could keep earning Bells or Nook Miles, but that can quickly become tedious and repetitive. i don't see any reason why the next Animal Crossing game wouldn't have more things to do.this ties in nicely with my previous point: if there are more places to go, there are more things to do, more things to buy and collect, and more places to explore every day.but i don't just want more things to do, i want new things to do. there's a few big categories i feel are worth mentioning: jobs, minigames, and villagers.

/ jobs

in Happy Home Paradise, players can work a job decorating vacation homes for villagers and are paid for their efforts. i hate that this feature is locked behind a DLC, because i think the ability for players to work is a brilliant inclusion, and should absolutely be expanded upon in a future game.previously, in New Leaf, players could work part-time at The Roost serving customers, and would be awarded special items for doing a good job. every villager had a unique coffee order that players had to learn over time. i can't believe this feature isn't present in New Horizons-- it's such a great addition that i'd love to see brought back and explored more.a busy city lends itself well to this mechanic, giving players the option to work part-time jobs across various locations, each with their own unique themes, functionality, and rewards.players should once again be able to work daily shifts at The Roost, serving villagers and special characters that each have their own unique orders. however, i imagine lots of other job opportunities for the player as well.for example, players could work for a detective agency, where clients come in with problems to solve. these would likely be misplaced item cases or something similar. the player could then engage in a sort of scavenger hunt, following clues around the city to find the item and return it to the client.some jobs could potentially give the player opportunities to customize villager appearances, like creating outfits at the Able Sisters as a tailor or cutting hair (or fur!) at the Shampoodle as a stylist. other potential jobs could include serving food at a restaurant, acting at a theater using Reactions, or restoring fossils at the Museum.each job could have its own uniform, giving players more opportunities to dress up and wear different outfits. as thanks for their hard work, players may earn Bells or special items. maybe players earn promotions for each job, increasing their pay or unlocking other items. promotions could even be tied to milestones or store upgrades.and players wouldn't be the only ones working! some locations in Happy Home Paradise feature animal villagers working jobs at restaurants or hospitals. it would fit seamlessly into a bustling city and give villagers something to do from day-to-day other than standing around.

/ minigames

strangely, Animal Crossing titles don't have much in the way of "minigames". i wouldn't really consider fishing, catching bugs, or diving to be minigames-- those are just the game. the closest thing present in New Horizons is the occasional game of High Card Low Card, which isn't exactly fun. i think Animal Crossing could benefit from smaller games within the game, particularly if they can be played with friends.for starters, the inclusion of part-time jobs could also create a handful of minigames. working at The Museum may feature a minigame in which the player frees a fossil from a chunk of dirt, or brushes it off, or combines fossil pieces to correctly restore a dinosaur. other jobs could feature similar, albeit unique games.there are, of course, other opportunities for minigames. for example, i think the inclusion of an arcade and a games app for the NookPhone could introduce a lot of fun, simple activities. these could give players access to mobile phone games in addition to arcade games like Whack-A-Resetti. these might be played cooperatively or competitively, and every game could keep track of a player's high score, as well as their friends' scores. i developed a concept for these mechanics back in 2020 for New Horizons, and while it's a bit outdated, i think it still illustrates the potential in adding minigames.

/ villagers

although they're a huge part of the game, it feels like there's not much you can actually do with villagers. in New Horizons, they mostly take up space and sometimes run up to the player with tasks or gifts. this is all fine, but doesn't it feel like they should have a little more interactivity?for one thing, i'd really like to see a hangout mechanic in a future game, wherein players could invite a villager to walk around with them. granted, aside from being cute and fun, i'm not entirely sure what benefit this would have. it could function similarly to how it does in Disney Dreamlight Valley, wherein villagers gain friendship while hanging out, and help the player with tasks-- in this case, catching fish/bugs/sea creatures, obtaining extra crafting materials, etc.as mentioned earlier, villagers should also be able to work and wander the city. villagers might gravitate to certain jobs or locations based on their personalities, make purchases based on their likes/dislikes, and overall just be more interesting as characters.tangentially, villagers should be more interesting in general. currently, villagers aren't all that unique: they may have different appearances or personalities, but they all say/do the same things. if i have to hear another villager talk about Maglevs in Love i'm going to set myself on fire.i don't think every villager needs their own unique lines of dialogue, but it would be cool if they had more depth. they should have likes and dislikes when it comes to gift-giving, favorite meals, and other small details that make each villager stand out just a little more.

/ other things to do

there are a few other things i think would be fun to do, including various possible game mechanics.for instance, i think it'd be cool to introduce some new gameplay mechanics, such as mining and treasure hunting.mining seems fairly easy to envision: rather than hitting rocks with a shovel or axe, players could instead use a pickaxe, dropping ores like those found in New Leaf, geodes, or unique rock variants, all of which might be used for DIY crafting or for the customization of items.i imagine treasure hunting would be similar to exploring Ancient Pig Ruins in Don't Starve: Hamlet, wherein the player explores caves or ruins to uncover treasures. these locations would allow players to uncover ancient artifacts and treasures. for what purpose? who knows! maybe these objects can be donated to the museum? maybe this is another job that the player can work instead of its own thing. perhaps this activity is featured elsewhere, acting like a Mystery Island with uniquely generated ruins.i just feel like there's so much potential for more stuff in Animal Crossing. there can be way more game inside the game!

utilize more special characters

with so many entries in the series, Animal Crossing has developed quite the cast of important characters. unfortunately, some of these characters have been underutilized or outright replaced in later titles. in the "ultimate" Animal Crossing game, in addition to new characters, it'd be awesome to feature everyone outside of lazy cameos, whether they're hosting events, running shops, or some other third thing.this is a pretty straightforward point, but i thought it would be fun to conceptualize what some of these characters might be up to in such a game:

of course, these are just basic ideas, and don't include characters with more obvious roles, like Timmy & Tommy running Nook's Cranny, Mabel & Sable running the Able Sisters, etc.while their purpose is less immediately obvious, i imagine other characters such as Blanca, Gracie, Phineas, and Tortimer would reappear in some form to host events or work at specialized stores.

better NookPhone

the NookPhone was such a great addition to New Horizons, and i feel like it could be improved for a new game through the addition of new apps.i've already proposed a mobile games app, allowing players to launch minigames from their phone to kill time, beat their friends' high scores, and potentially earn rewards.another app i'd like to see is some form of music app. this would function as a music player does in real life, allowing players to select and change what song they listen to while playing. this might include normal hourly tracks (bonus points if tracks from past games are included), K.K. Slider songs, or maybe even player-created songs, perhaps through expanded Town Tune functionality. maybe there's a music store somewhere in the city, where players can purchase said tracks.i'd also like to see better social apps. i think an in-game social media site (NookBook?) would be really interesting. i sort of envision something like Miitomo, allowing players to make posts that their friends can react to and comment on. players could share photos they take, island updates, request items, and answers fun questions. NPC villagers could also post on the site, making it feel more realistic.a better messaging app would be great, too. this could be standalone or part of the social media app, but talking to friends in Animal Crossing games is so clunky. i realize this is mostly a limitation of the system (it's hard to type fast on a controller), but i still feel improvements could be made to make talking to friends more fun and accessible.the possibilities are truly endless, but i think these examples demonstrate how much more handy and fun the NookPhone could be.

miscellaneous additions

there's a few other things i'd like to discuss, but they're smaller in scale and don't necessitate their own sections. some of these arefirstly, a future animal crossing game needs way more things to unlock and work towards. i'm specifically referring to upgrades and milestones, which i feel New Horizons somewhat lacks: Nook's Cranny literally has one upgrade. i would love to see more opportunities for the player's city to grow, and more reasons for the player to engage in various elements of the game to unlock new items and parts of the game.next, cooking needs a massive overhaul. the addition to cooking in New Horizons is fantastic in theory, but in practice it's virtually pointless. ideally, different recipes should give the player small buffs: increased movement speed for x amount of time, chance to catch double fish, etc. etc. these don't have to be game-changing effects, but they would give the player a reason to make them outside of filling their energy points (which should also be more useful!). some of my other ideas lend themselves to a cooking refresh, too, such as a city having restaurants and villagers having favorite meals.while it makes slightly less sense in a city setting, i want to see slightly more magical/cartoony elements. minus the talking animals, Animal Crossing is a series based mostly in realism, but there are fun additions that are more magical: money trees, the existence of Wisp, and changing clothes with a magic wand to name a few. despite being unrealistic, these are things that fit fantastically into the game, so i'd really love to see more stuff like that!obviously, i'd like to see better, smoother online play. this is an impossible ask because Nintendo is known to fumble the bag when it comes to online functionality, but ideally it shouldn't take 5 minutes to connect to another player's island. it's 2024, we deserve less obtrusive online play.lastly, way more items in general. this includes simple things like furniture (especially tables, New Horizons hates tables for some reason), but also things like seasonal or unique items. in addition to providing more options and variety, seasonal items could keep players returning frequently to collect everything. i think it would be interesting if each player had access to a series of items unique to their city. idk, just more stuff to earn and decorate with would be nice!

the end.

wow, this took a while! i've been writing this on and off for the last few weeks in-between sessions of actually playing New Horizons. since then, my island has hit 3 stars and i've unlocked the terraforming tools, so i've been hard at work making my island look all fancy. i also got some of those NFC coins, so i'll be able to populate my island with my favorite villagers! this game actually rules when you have stuff to do!in addition, i finally got my computer back! this is both awesome and kind of sucks, because now i don't want to play New Horizons as much. i've got Dead by Daylight to grind, and the new Stardew Valley update is out!i'll actually be publishing this post on the 4th anniversary of New Horizons, which is wild to think about. 4 YEARS? time sucks. but holy shit, this game kept me sane during the pandemic, as i'm sure it did for lots of people. i think it'll always have a special place in my heart for that.i remember playing Animal Crossing for Gamecube with my siblings so much as a kid, and then later all of us playing City Folk on the Wii. one of my sisters visited my New Horizons island once, though we haven't played together since. i really miss playing with them, but it helps that i have a bunch of friends i can play with instead. :)i hope its evident that i care a lot about this series, which is why i'm so passionate about making it the best it can be. i hope you enjoyed my rambling, even if you don't agree with all my ideas. in the end, i'd be happy to see any new Animal Crossing game, but until then, I've got Miles to earn and turnips to sell!

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there's only one of me

or, the closest i've come to having an alternate sona

[12/15/23]

i wish i were me, whoever that is
i could just be, and not give a shit
- Maybe Man, AJR

hi i write a blog post now, okay?i've been wanting to start making these for a couple weeks but i've been having trouble thinking of something fun and interesting to actually write about. some of my friends have been writing review-style posts about good songs and bad games, which i think might be fun to do eventually, once i actually find something to review. maybe when i get around to finishing Knuckle Sandwich i could write a little somethin-somethin. but i digress.on my pilgrimage back from my biweekly trip to 7Brew (i got a rocky road mocha, thank you for asking) a random thought crossed my mind, which i figured i could milk into a post here. it feels more like a research paper than a discussion, but hey, it's something!

only one of me

i have a very strange complex when it comes to creating alternate versions of myself. when presented with the opportunity, i usually just insert myself as i am into whatever world this version is a part of. for example, when creating a player character in a video game, i'll usually just make myself, giving him square glasses, a mustache, and a short haircut.on one hand, there's not really anything wrong with doing this? in a way i think it means i'm satisfied enough with myself that i'm comfortable continuing to be myself in other worlds. in terms of video games, i might have a richer experience playing as myself as opposed to another character. it's beautiful in a kind of stupid poetic way, i guess, that where i could choose to be anything, i choose to be me.but on the other hand, holy shit is it boring.i like to think that i'm a very creative person, so there's something really sad about my inability to abstract myself into other, completely different forms. i have difficulty seeing myself in a character that isn't me, or that doesn't have the same characteristics as me. every potential version of myself needs to have square glasses, a mustache, and a short haircut, or it isn't me.i've noticed a lot of people around me-- both those i know personally and those i don't-- have multiple personas. this includes any character one might use to represent themselves: characters based on one's identity, self-inserts, or even characters that one may simply have strong attachments to, but aren't necessarily part of one's identity. i've seen these various identities used to represent a person within different groups, themes, hobbies, worlds, or whatever.and it's really cool! it's awesome seeing how one chooses to express themselves through multiple characters. additionally, while they may share common elements, these characters tend to be completely unique from one another, encompassing wildly different parts of the same person.i've never been able to represent myself in this way. prior to my tomato redesign in late 2020, my only online persona was literally just myself drawn in orange. while i'm obviously much happier with the tomato design, it's still very much just me, and moreover, only one of me.i'm starting to ramble, so where exactly am i going with this?well, at some point i realized i actually do have a character i identify with, one who feels very much me without literally being me. and what's more, it sort of happened accidentally?

hell on earth

this next part requires a bit of preliminary context, but chances are most anyone reading already knows all this.annoyingly, outside of my comics (which i don't generally count for various reasons), i have very few narrative projects with original characters and continuous worldbuilding. this is probably the result of laziness, lack of motivation, and general disinterest with past or current projects. i've never been very good at sticking with something, and i often abandon ship when a new, more exciting idea strikes.with that in mind, in late 2020, i created a demon character named Casino. it didn't take long for him to become my "go-to" original character. in april 2023, i made a reference sheet for him that actually looks really good! i've never made one of those before!

and look, i don't want to be coy about this; i like men. Casino was explicitly designed with characteristics i find attractive: he's a big, burly dude with a beard. he was originally created for, er, nefarious purposes. i liked him too much not to use him more freely, so i eventually reevaluated his purpose as a character to use in more approachable scenarios. i created a bigger, more adaptable world around him that i would later call Hell on Earth (not to be confused with my friend's world of the same name).Hell on Earth is a dark comedy world about the afterlife, starring terrible demons doing awful things. Casino is obviously the star of the show, but it wouldn't be long before the world would be filled with other characters, starting with a little blue freak.

building a boyfriend

in early 2022, after bouncing Casino around in my head for over a year, i had an idea. a massive, tremendously gay idea. Casino deserved a boyfriend!Casino was relatively easy to design since he was created around my perception of an attractive guy. designing his partner was more challenging; i didn't want to make another character for me, another character based on my preferences. i wanted to make a character for him. i didn't know exactly where to start, so i threw together a small idea board with some inspirations for his character:

at the time, i was really into Disney's Encanto. i watched it multiple times in the span of a week or two. my favorite character was obviously Bruno, whom i themed my Discord profile after for a short period. it's a little cringey to admit, but i especially liked Camillo's evil interpretation of Bruno in the earworm of a song We Don't Talk About Bruno. there are multiple aspects i lifted from Bruno, from his appearance to his (perceived) malevolence.Bo Burnham's masterpiece Inside affected me so strongly that it clung to my brain for months. one of the most popular songs from the special was Welcome to the Internet, which personified the internet as this malicious albeit inviting figure. there were definitely some physical aspects i lifted from Burnham's appearance, but i think most of the inspiration came from the general vibe of the song and character.the elements drawn from internet comedy musician Tom Cardy are a bit more straightforward. Tom is a charismatic man: he's attractive, talented, funny, and has an Australian accent. in june 2021 he released a 30-second song called (Am I a) Bad Guy about getting one eye dilated, giving him the appearance of a "bad guy". it may be superficial, but i thought it looked really cool and maybe a little hot. what? sue me.looking at everything together paints a pretty clear picture of the resulting character: Whiskey, an odd-eyed demon with an Australian accent and mischievous nature. on the surface, he's kind and carefree, but in reality, he's manipulative and wicked. he has longer hair (usually tied back), and a magnificent mustache. oh, and he's blue, because reasons.

in many ways, he's Casino's exact opposite. Casino is a hothead with a temper, whereas Whiskey is calm and generally unfazed. Casino is stubborn and no-nonsense, but Whiskey is easygoing and all nonsense.in the end, after doing some writing and learning how these characters interact, it made more sense for them to be in an unstable, on-again-off-again relationship. Casino generally thinks of Whiskey as the bane of his existence, but has a soft spot for him, much to his annoyance. Whiskey, on the other hand, has an undying fascination with Casino, content to both love and torture him. it's a pretty great dynamic.after spending some time with these characters, it eventually dawned on me that i actually have an unsuspected, pleasant connection to Whiskey. in some ways, i really identify with him. in creating a partner for my favorite OC, i'd accidentally made a character i can easily project myself onto.

my inner demon

now that i've spent three separate sections building up to the purpose of this blog post, i'm finding it a little difficult to actually word why i feel such a strong bond with Whiskey. how do you explain that?i guess, for, starters, Whiskey and i have the same taste in men. now, look, i obviously understand the reasoning behind this, but there's something reassuring and comforting about it. i'm a (mostly) gay man with very little romantic experience. i don't know the first thing about relationships. Whiskey, however, is a gay man with plenty of experience, capable of the doing the things i wish i could do. in a way, i can live vicariously through him, acting out various fantasies with attractive men on my behalf.Whiskey is something of a pseudo-antagonist. underneath his generally friendly disposition is a being of pure evil. he's a demon, of course, but he's meant to be a kind of "super demon". i can't say i relate to being evil and manipulative, but there is something to be said about watching him act out my less awesome thoughts.physically, we're as different as we are alike. we're both on the smaller side (though Whiskey is certainly less scrawny), wear the same clothes, and have similar appearances (particularly in the mustache department). of course, he doesn't wear glasses (though i did consider giving him Welcome to the Internet-style shades), and his hair is longer than mine. i also don't have an Australian accent, though man, wouldn't that be great?there's a lot of little things about Whiskey, too. his background is left intentionally vague for plot shenanigans, but his past left gave him expertise in many skills, such as mixology or music. these are skills i've always been interested in learning, so while they're more directly my influence as opposed to a cool accident, it's fun that Whiskey has those talents.i should say, it's not that i view Whiskey as a better, more realized version of myself, but he does possesses desirable traits i feel that i lack. it's difficult not to compare yourself to a character you have things in common with, even if they're of your own design. simply put, Whiskey lives how i wish i could. i'm usually a pretty nervous person and i self-describe myself as a pushover. but what if i were more confident, more powerful, less passive, blue?more recently, while playing around with an idea for a Hell on Earth RPG(!), i got the idea of ditching his long man-bun hairstyle for a much shorter look, potentially even a buzz cut. i feel like both styles fit his character, but one is definitely closer to me than the other. i wonder if this potential change was a subconscious one to see more of myself in Whiskey?with all that said, i still don't really consider him a true, bona fide persona. he's absolutely the closest thing to it, but i can definitely say he isn't, at least at this time. he's a proxy for me to be gay and do crimes, i suppose, but at his core, he's not me. he is, however, incredibly important.

an addendum

i do technically have a handful of other sonas, though they're a bit of a special case. these characters were created for venting purposes, and don't so much represent my identity as they do negative thoughts or feelings.the most notable of these is Bloom, a personification of my insecurities and other things i dislike about myself. she represents me in a really complicated way, as she's quite literally all the things i wish i weren't. calling her part of my identity feels odd, at least at this point in time. so though i do refer to her as a sona for convenience, she's something else entirely.i really want to make other, true sonas. i've clearly described why i have such a difficult time with it, but i'm hoping eventually i can use what i've learned from Whiskey to help develop other versions of myself in the future.

the end.

i should stop writing; this turned out way longer than i was anticipating. was this anything? i'm not sure. it felt like a herculean task for my first blog post, and i'm not entirely sure i got my point across the way i'd hoped to, but if nothing else, i hope it wasn't boring!what do we think of the song lyrics preceding the post? i was initially thinking it would be fun and very gart-like to name all my posts here after song lyrics, but i felt like that might get confusing. instead, i thought maybe i'll just attach some lyrics i like that more or less fit the topic of the post. we'll see, i guess.i'll almost certainly discuss Hell on Earth here again at some point; it's a project i'm constantly thinking about, though there's very little of it out in public.speaking of Hell on Earth, i've been meaning to revisit Casino and Whiskey's Toyhouse pages, as well as actually create pages for the reason of the main cast. these characters deserve a lot more attention than i'm giving them.thanks for reading my poorly-organized thoughts! i'm not sure how often i'll be writing here, but hopefully the next post will be a bit shorter!

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